World Cup Wildes

It's June. It's f**king June. I don't even know what to say. They are not a lot of positives in my life. I'm poor. My girlfriend left me. I can't find a job, well I'm a full time student so maybe I can be excused.I'm in a foreign country surrounded by people I would pee on if they were dying and to top that I feel totally alone but you know what? It's f**king June and that means in mere days the World Cup is going to start. Some may say it's a sad life I live, that watching men kick a ball in a net is trivial and they are right in some parts. They are people dying the world over and I think about that daily but I say to those same people if you can't take joy out of a little how can you value your life. The world is a terrible place, I myself don't even care much for it. It's man fault that the world is how it is. There were wars and genocides but through all that they got one thing right and that is football and you know what I'm satisfied with that. Here to satisfy you is Group F. Well I'm hoping it will.

Group F
Italy
Paraguay
New Zealand
Slovakia

Italy

The world champions. That World Cup in 2006 seems like such a long time ago. I was 18. Can you remember what you were doing four years ago? Well I was just starting college and had a scrappy beard, well still have a scrappy beard but that is besides the point. Two men who could never forget is Zinedine Zindane and Marco Materazzi. The rammed and the one who rams. That's in the past and in context irrelevant. The Italians won and beat the French to become four time World Cup champions. Can they make it five this time around their names are in the hat. Italy won their group with relative ease in order to qualify for this summer's tournament, the Republic of Ireland the only threat in qualification. It would seem Italy have regained their elite status judging by these result but it wasn't so rosy a year or so ago. After they had won the golden challis in 2006 their coach at the time Marcello Lippi step down and the reigns of Azzurri were placed in the hand of a relatively inexperience Roberto Donadoni. The former Italian midfielder led an underachieving team to the Euro 2008. A campaign that saw the world champs crashing out in the knockout stages. Dondadoni got the axe and enter stage left Lippi for a second stint with the national side. He won it the first time why not the second time? I will tell why he won't this time. Lippi has virtually recalled the same team that won the cup in 2006. So that means men who were old already then are now four years older now. So that means the likes of Gigi Buffon, Andrea Pirlo, Fabio Cannavaro and Mauro Camoranesi are pretty much ancient now. Its an old team in general but what works in their favor is their group, they don't have to strain themselves to get out of it, so all their memorable performances will be saved for the latter rounds. Is Lippi an idiot I would say so if he were Domench or Maradonna but he has won a World Cup so I guess he knows what he is doing.

Key Man- Daniele De Rossi: In a team filled with dinosaurs someone has to do the running and De Rossi is the man to do it. He will do all the dirty work for the AZZURRI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paraguay


Jose Luis Chilavert once the world greatest goalkeeper/ bit part dead ball specialist is long gone. He was awesome and basically gave Paraguay a chance of getting deep into any competition. Now that he has retired they are a bunch of youngsters looking to solidify their countries name as one of the big boys. Lets start in South America first. Paraguay is a really nifty unit. They just get the job done. In order to qualify for Sudafrica' as the Mexicans say, the La Albirroja had to scrap their way out of COMNEBOL and they did so with much verve. They finished third in South American qualifying edging out the likes of perennial giants Argentina and Uruguay. I like Paraguay they are nice to watch they have elegant attackers like Roque Santa Cruz and Oscar Cardozo. They would have one more if not for that thing I was talking about earlier.The world being a bad place junk it is a bit of a dirty place,isn't it? That one more forward that Paraguay could have called on was Club America striker Salavador Cabanas. Cabanas was shot in the head at a Mexican club. He is such a hearty striker and really gives his all, my prays do go out to him. No doubt he will support his team in South Africa. As for Paraguay I do hope they do well.

Key Man- Oscar Cardozo: He had a terrific season with Benfica of Portugal if he can turn club form into national performance Paraguay will be in good stead.


New Zealand


Let me start off my saying. New Zealand you do make a fine cheese. Anchor New Zealand Cheddar cheese is the best in the universe. I live in New York the most diverse city on earth and I can't find a stick of that Kiwi crack as I like to call it. I also love the BlackCaps New Zealand's cricket team (Love Daniel Vettori) and I love the AllBlacks their rugby team. I even love the AllWhites. My uncle use to say to me the hardest thing to do is to grab a chance you are given and that is what the Kiwis did. A lot of people don't think New Zealand should be here because they claim Oceania is such a weak division and some claim if Australia was around they won't have made it this far. They are right, everything they say is true. When you think that the Swedes, Turks and Egyptians will all be sitting at home doing nothing while the New Zealanders challenge the might of Italy it kind of makes you annoyed. That maybe you but not me. All those teams had their chance and they didn't fight for their grain. New Zealand fought for theirs. On paper the AllWhites are not a strong side but as history shows a country colonized by the English that is predominately European are battle ready constantly. So New Zealand will be well down for a scrap but unfortunately they just don't have what it takes to get out the group.

Key Man- Ryan Nelsen: Top man. The one who they will look to for some inspiration.

Slovakia


Another team who has split from its sister nation. Like Serbia the Slovaks now stand alone for the very first time in the World Cup. A very beautiful story. I wonder who is going to be next, will Tobago break away from Trinidad and become sovereign? Slovakia for to long subjected to the constant chatter from her more illustrious sister the Czech Republic. The Czechs have gave the world some top talent such as Milan Baros, Pavel Nedved, the monster Jan Koller and Petr Cech. What are the names of the sons Slovakia have birthed? Who has she given to the world? I don't expect most people to know them but I being me know who they are and they are very dangerous. The side feature the Manchester City product Vladimir Weiss, the Liverpool legionnaire Martin Skrtel and the most dangerous of all Marek Hamsik. Hamsik is pure evil. I have never seen someone who played like him, he deserves a whole paragraph and one day I will give it to him. Slovakia has a legitimate shot.

Key Man- Marek Hamsik: No comment. No words can explain. Go watch for yourself. Trust me.

Predictions- Italy 1st, Slovakia 2nd, Paraguay 3rd, New Zealand. World Champions had to top the group. I choose Slovakia 2nd just because of Hamsik. Paraguay is a good team but they don't have Hamsik and the AllWhites will get whitewashed. Again they do serve a fine cheese though.