World Cup Wildes

Cliche' number one. What the hell is going on? Cliche' number two. These guys are dropping like flies. Cliche' number three.If I could see into the future. Cliches are a way for semi educated people to seem intelligent and formal. It is a ticket to laziness, a way to stifle one's on creativity and also a way to show people you are unable to think for yourself. Yet people use them the world over, cliches like. On any given day! If you love something set it free! Not for all the tea in China and my personal favorite. If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all. I hate cliches but that one I have taken a liking to but as stupid cliches may seem to be sometimes they can be necessary. The three cliches I opened with are quite appropriate for this the World Cup season. So, what the hell is going? Why are these high profile players getting injured and if I could see into the future I would have changed my predictions on previous blog post. Literally some real stars are pulling out or in doubt of featuring in the summer tournament. Names like Rio Ferdinand, John Obi Mikel, Wilson Palacios, Michael Essien and Didier Drogba. Really what is going on? Well at least
Group G is a certainty.

Group G
Brazil
Ivory Coast
North Korea
Portugal

Brazil


Do I even have to saying anything? Seriously. It would be like shouting out the name Jesus in Vatican City. Are they even any Atheist in Vatican City? I don't want to be lazy so I might as well say something and I have to keep in mind that a person who does know anything about football may somehow stumble across this well manufactured piece of art which is my blog. Brazil for many, many years have been the team to beat in world football. They have featured in every World Cup to date. They have won the cup five times the most out of any nation and if they don't win the whole shebang (Cliche' number 4) they are either in the final or here or there about (cliche number 5). Brazil has spawned with in her Borders world renowned legends such as Zico, Socrates, Cafu, Ronaldo, Romario, Dunga (Now the coach), Rivaldo, Ronaldinho, Robinho, Kaka and probably the greatest player who has ever lived a man called Pele'. On their journey to South Africa they typically topped their qualifying group in South America and who would bet against them (cliche 6) from topping the rest of the 31 teams in this summer's World Cup. This current squad are impressive but ironically Brazilians are not a fan of new coach Dunga and some of his squad selections and tactics. Saying that they don't play the typical Brazilian way. The exclusion of Alexandre Pato and former world player of the year Ronaldinho has upset some of Brazilian massive. Honestly I think Brazil are one of the favorites for the cup. Now, Brazil will host the next World Cup in 2014 providing the world doesn't end in 2012. What needs to happen is that someone should capitalize on the fact the World cup is being contested in South Africa and not let Brazil win because giving Brazil a home advantage at a World Cup is frightening. Picture a small nation worth of people cramped into the Maricana and they would stab virgins for a Brazil win. FIFA in my opinion have basically given Brazil the 2014 World Cup, well they technically did but you get what I mean. Lets see if they can make this their sixth world title. It's sad really most countries don't even have one like Holland and the Selecao is going for half a dozen.

Key Man- Julio Cesar: What? Not an outfielder player and not even a forward? For all their outfield delights Brazil's true star is goalkeeper Julio Cesar. Any Brazilian can score a goal but how many can stop a free kick from Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo?


Ivory Coast


Have to say, love the new national team crest. Having the trunk of the elephant form the "C" in Cote D' Ivoire is pretty sweet. Very creative. Makes me want to get a elephant now.Enough of the art now to the football. I am glad I held of from my last blog post. I waited a couple of days before I chimed in with another article. I may not be able to see into the future but I do know how to take advantage of a trend. I realized that the big names of football have been getting injured. First Ballack, then Essien and then Rio. I was like who is the next to fall and I knew it was going to happen. How you ask? Well I know the worse is about to happen when my chest hair itches. Now some would say I need to step up my hygiene and I would reply, my hygiene is on point but its just one of those funny things. When it itches which isn't very often the worse happens. Last time my chest hair itched my grandmother ended up in the hospital. So I would say it's fairly accurate. When my quirk exercised it's power a few days ago the worse yet again happened. Ivory Coast's Didier Drogba was struck with a horrendous elbow injury which sees him "doubtful," for the tournament. Which is a huge blow for the Ivorians chances. People say you should never look at the negative but I am expert in wallowing in self pity and I am here to share that with my African brothers and I have even put in list format just to highlight your plights.

Elephant Graveyard

1) You are in a group with Brazil and Portugal that makes pretty bleak reading.

2)You sacked your successful coach in Vahid Halilhodžić to hire Sven Goran Eriksson a man who allowed his star player (Drogba) to play non stop friendlies since being hired. A post he has had held for less than a year.

3) Like many African teams your goalkeeper is a clown, who will be embarrassed by Brazil and Portugal.

4) Your back up striker is Aruna Dindane a man who got relegated with Portsmouth a few months ago prior the World Cup.

5) Solomon Kalou is badly out of form.

6) Your other striker Bakari Kone is 5'4 and will have to take on Portugal's gigantic defenders Bruno Alves and
Ricardo Carvalho. Even worse he will have to come against Brazil's Juan who is a tree, Lucio who is a mountain and if those two aren't bad enough he will meet Luisao, who has to be the largest Brazilian I have ever seen.

7) You have Emmanuel Eboue in your team who to be very honest erratic at best.

8) North Korea has the greatest team spirit and work ethic in the world something you lack.

9) Ivory Coast play Portugal first then Brazil.

10) Even if Drogba makes it back he will be at 25%. Breaking your arm is not a joke.

All that being said they really have no chance, I even have Kim Jong-Il's warriors pipping a point of them. I don't have any hope for them advancing even with Drogba in their ranks and now that he seems to have fallen so shall they.

Key Man- Yaya Toure: You play for Barcelona act like it.

North Korea


This has to be cliche number 8. Which is "I choose my battles carefully." Which really is true, I actually do. When I can't win or know I can't I hastily retreat. I can't stand not being able to be informed about something. Here stands North Korea a team I absolutely know nothing about and for me that really does tugs at my pride. I tried to find information on the players but I hardly could and the people who could have told me anything about North Korea have gone home to South Korea for the summer my friends Jaeman, Jae and Han-Syuk. Actually they don't even like North Koreans it seems for obvious reasons. Unlike the average football fan I didn't let something like this hinder me so I did some research. How? I did what anyone would do. I watched a ton of their games and I have come to a conclusion. They are very useful. Very useful. North Korea I think are the most technically gifted passers I have ever seen. Seriously no joke. North Korea are bad ass, they pass well and talk about the discipline and they don't waste chances. They have so much discipline and spirit. Unfortunately in this group I can't see them finishing anything but last. Surprisingly North Korea has pedigree as well, officially this would be the Northern Manchurians second time at the World Cup but withdrawal from past tournaments would have seen them here four times already. In 1966 the Koreans made it to the quarterfinals only to be ironically knocked out by the Portuguese led by Eusebio. North Korea had to beat out the likes of World Cup regular Saudi Arabia and the Asian champions Iraq so they have to feel confident. As for the players I really don't know any of them and Korean names give me a lot of trouble ask my Korean friends, so I can't even recognize the vast majority of the North Korean players but there is one I have taken a liking to and he is Jong Tae-Se. A man born in Japan to South Korean parents and plays for North Korea. Jong is called the "Asian," Wayne Rooney and his size and appearance does give the name credit but can he play? Only time will tell. He is prolific for his country banging in 41 goals for Korea to date but looking at the group I will say he will be lucky to hit the crossbar.

Key Man- Hong Yong-Jo: He is the captain and one of the few Koreans who ply their trade in Europe. In Russia where he plays he lives without a TV or a refrigerator. If your will is that strong you would need the whole Swiss army just to braze you. Jokes aside he must be something special. Old school.

Portugal


Os gênios náuticos. Os mestres do novo mundo. De Lisboa para Coimbra. You didn't know I spoke Portuguese. Well your partly right. I'm learning and at the moment I am not very good. I actually can follow a conversation may it be a short one and spoken very slowly. That sentence I wrote says. "The nautical geniuses. The masters of the New World, from Lisbon to Coimbra. My American friend Stephanie of Brazilian descent is teaching me. The Portuguese were the world's greatest naval power they founded Brazil and we all love Brazil. They named Barbados (awesome country) and Portuguese women are very sexy but what the Iberians really excel at is football. What I find odd is that the Portuguese have only been to this date to five World Cups. You would think they would have featured more regularly. This toss they Portuguese made it hard going qualifying for South Africa they finished behind Denmark in qualifying and bearly edged out 3rd place Sweden. Nevertheless they are here now and that is what is important. Let me go on record and say I want Portugal to win the World Cup and also let me say Portugal will win the World Cup. Let me repeat. Portugal WILL WIN THE WORLD CUP. I know you think am an idiot for taking such a stance but if you have Superman why would you worry about Lex Luther. I know a good analysis should talk about the squad's strengths and weaknesses and not sound like a fan boy but Cristiano Ronaldo is the greatest human being on the planet to me. He is the sole reason why Portugal will win. Jesus is number one to me but Ronaldo is a distant second. If he was alive when Hitler and the Nazis were waging war on the Allied forces he would have stopped them in two minutes. Maybe that is a bit to extreme but he is a dream dipped in sprinkles. I know Nani and Simao are fairly cool and they can do all the ricks the kids love but Ronaldo created those said tricks. I think I have said enough about the god. Portugal actually has a solid side. A good defense, solid midfield, the attack could be less one dimensional a la Cristiano Ronaldo but we all can't have it all our own way.

Key Man- Cristiano Ronaldo: Cristiano é um deus e nada neste mundo podem pará-lo. Levará Portugal à terra de promessa. I will leave you guys to figure that out. My Portuguese improves day by day. Agradeça o Stephanie
Neves'