Heiress

You know I was talking to one of my close friends Lord bless his heart about my blog. He said he liked it, who doesn't?, but I ask for some input on what he think I could add to it and what problems he may have with it. It was a cool converstaion I liked the feedback it had me thinking about my committment to the sport. His suggestion was that I talk about female soccer players. When he said that I said to myself the only way I ever do that is if I will find the magical kingdom of Narfgrovf and give myself sexually to a 320 pound Myrmidon name Greil all while having my chest hairs singed off by the flames of Babylon. Today I can walk shirtless because of my lack of body hair. I begin with a new segment called Heiress, heirs to what I do not know it just sounds cool, plus I could not find anything reptilian that would go with women and the ladies I know would not take great pleasure being called something cold blooded although I may have a different opinion along with 75% of the male population. With my new found appreciation of the female footballer, I bring you an article based on a female might not be long but I will try.

Name: Leni Larsen Kaurin

D/O/B: 03/21/1981 (Never reveal a woman's age lol)

Place of Birth: Alesund, Norway

Height: 5'5 ft/inches

Position: Midfielder/Foward (Right Winger/ Auxillary Striker)

Prefered Foot: Right

National Team: Norway

Caps: 56

Club Teams: Skarbovik IF, Fortuna Alesund, Asker, Team Strommen, 1. FFC Turbine Potsdam

I am trying to get the hang of women's sports in general. People often say women's sports most of them are watered down versions of their male colleagues. I was one of those people, I thought they were slow, awkward, docile and that their anatomy got in the way of how the sport is suppose to be played. I literally watched women sports especially football with a bad mind, not even the cuteness of their little angel like faces could get me to sit for the entire duration of the game. I cursed women's football, not the type of curse when you bought a snickers and then took one bite and said you should have had a milky-way but the kind of curse that was inspired from your better half of twelve years telling you they cheated on you with half of the males in your family even your grandfather you who use to beat you with a fish gut belt until you sweat blood. I am a reformed man, well maybe not fully but I am getting there, the turning point actually was the Beijing Olympics in 2008. Where this young lady on show was one of many that at least caught my eye, I mean with the football but my looking at her makes my heart smile as well.

Leni Larsen Kaurin was born in Alesund, Norway and is a professional footballer player. She plays on the right side of midfield or acts as an auxillary foward if the situation demands. The Nordic beauty to me is the fourth Powerpuff Girl because for the simple fact she plays the game like she has superpowers and her stamina has to come from a large amount of sugar. She began her career at hometown club of Skarbovik IF where she played part of her youth football the latter half was played at mighty Fortuna Alesund where she forged a name for herself as one of the hottest prospect in Scandanavia, which mind you is very hard to do as a girl seeing that woman's Scandanavian football is among the elite in the world. Asker was her next club where she joined them in 1998. She was off to play for one of the most successive clubs in Norway, pressure that not only did she learn to cope with but used to her advantage. After a multitude of games played for Asker Leni found herself on the move to Team Strommen, here is where I wished my keyboard had Nordic fonts and keys because I am not doing Norwegian team names any justice. Team Strommen gained her services for a spell but it was not to long before she was off back to Asker, I guess you have to ASK HER, I hope you got the corny joke. Searching for ever more glory my lady stuck with Asker until 2007 until a chance to play in Germany came via 1.FCC Turbine Potsdam, what the one is for I do not know. Do this date she has played only twelve games a fact that concerns me as I am writing this it is 2009 she joined up with Potsdam in 2007 so I think she may want o fix that problem.

Women's football on a whole gets most if not all of its recognition on the international stage. Club football is a bit behind in popularity. Our heroine not the drug but I must admit her beauty is intoxicating plays for one of the better national sides out there in 7th ranked Norway, if only the men of Norway were that good. Leni is definitely an academy baby playing for all national sides Norway has to offer from the U-17s to the full senior team. At senior level she has 56 caps for the "The Vikings," which I need to find a female equivalent to. I think we shall call them "the Valkyries," the choosers of death.They and Leni are very good. Leni held the world's fastest goal in women's soccer for a little while it happen at the Olympic games in Beijing against the United States of America a game they won 2-0. That same tournament she guided the Valkyries as I like to call them to a respectable fourth place finish. To this date Kaurin has only netted five times for Norway a tally I know she can bolster.

For Kaurin the player I have seen her play and she is the textbook Nordic player, a great passer of the ball, excellent temperment and a hard worker off the ball. What my sources tell me she has a nice turn as pace as well and a sweet right foot. In that same game with the mighty Red White and Blue she tormented the oppsition defenders. Her passing game left the Americans dumbfounded and her link up play with Norway's lone striker can be compared with Samuel Eto'o and Ronaldinho from Barcelona a few years back. Okay maybe I am exaggerating a bit but it was pretty darn sweet how they played. She is ambitious and talented, looking at the fact she is the only Norwegian female playing in Germany says a lot, it shows a willingness to be a great and to be honest I would love to see her Stateside because that is where the action is at. I think she is the female equivalent of a yound David Beckham she is pretty, has a nice technique and very charismatic. Even if you don't like her play, from that picture can you hate someone that pretty and that is not being sexist she is an awesome girl with a bright future.

Reptile